I feel like I’m losing who I am and it’s absolutely terrifying… I feel lost. Where do I turn? I feel like I ruined the relationship between my best friend and I… She says she’ll always be here for me, even after I get out of this rut. But I don’t see how she could ever forgive me after all of this. Stevie, if you’re reading this… I’m so sorry for everything. You’re such a great friend, and you deserve better. I just didn’t want you to see me like this. I feel almost hollow. I don’t feel like… me. Something’s just not right. I’m going back to therapy starting wednesday and hopefully I can be directed to where I need to be. When I got your gifts the other day, I just broke. I felt like absolute dirt for not being the friend you need in your life. Everything you gave me and wrote in your cards were so heart-felt… I didn’t even know what to do. I wish I could have received them under better circumstances. I hope you don’t hold this against me forever and have bitter feelings towards me, but I wouldn’t blame you if you did.

…… I’m so sorry…